In Jerusalem, finally. I've been here about 36hrs and still very jet lagged. I woke up at 4a today wide awake (7p back at home) and decided to just get up for a few hours, since sleeping clearly wasn't working for me. Jerusalem is quiet and peaceful in the wee morning hours. The hustle and bustle of the day has not yet begun; the palpable tension hasn't yet saturated the tongue; the humidity hasn't drenched the skin. Perhaps when I know this part of the city better and know my way around, when I wake at this time of day, I'll wander over to the Kotel. 5a at the Kotel--few things are more centering in life for me.
When school officially begins, I am sure I will feel differently, but at this moment, I don't believe I am actually here, I have yet to internalize that this is truly happening. Maybe for my classmates who have had this dream their whole lives, being here is different. For me, it's completely foreign. And I don't just mean the language/culture/Israel, I mean the whole concept of being a student, and a rabbinical one at that.
I keep wondering when I have to go back to the lab, what next set of compounds I need to analyze. That part of my life is over. In a few weeks, I'll be inundated with which text I have to read to get homework done and what to plan for shabbat dinner and what to say about that week's parsha.
At this moment though, before classes start and after work has ended, I am in a state of holding, like jello. I am taking this time to take stock: of the house, of the fridge, of myself. Right now, the house is in desperate need of cleaning, the fridge needs stocking (it has a jar of salsa and that's it), and I am covered in random bruises. Things here are raw and at their base state. There is no carpet to cover up the grimy linoleum; there is no stainless steel to hide the dingy white fridge, and there is no make-up to cover me up. Everything and everyone is raw.
In general, I am happy to be here, I am excited to finally start this journey which has been a long time coming; I am ready to begin.
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You're here! ברוכה הבאה!
ReplyDeleteIf you're feeling more settled later, a bunch of us are going to hear Amos Oz speak, 5pm.
Give a call when you're up to it: 054 817 3750. :)